Internal Family Systems Therapy in Surrey, BC
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Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy in Surrey, BC helps people understand and heal the different “parts” of themselves that may carry trauma, anxiety, shame, self-criticism, or emotional pain. At Sojourn Counselling and Neurofeedback, our Registered Clinical Counsellors may integrate IFS-informed therapy with trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, and nervous system regulation approaches such as neurofeedback to support deeper emotional healing.
What is Internal Family Systems Therapy?
Internal Family Systems therapy, developed by Richard Schwartz, is based on the idea that the mind is made up of different “parts”—each with its own perspective, emotions, and role.
You may notice this in yourself:
- A part of you wants to move forward, while another feels stuck
- One part is critical, while another feels hurt or ashamed
- You feel pulled in different directions internally
IFS helps you make sense of these experiences—not as dysfunction, but as a natural system trying to protect you.
At the core of IFS is the belief that beneath these parts is your Self—a calm, compassionate, and wise inner presence capable of leading your healing.
How Internal Family Systems Therapy Helps Trauma Recovery
Many people who seek therapy for trauma, anxiety, or emotional overwhelm feel conflicted inside. One part of them may want closeness and connection, while another pulls away or shuts down. One part may strive for perfection and control, while another feels exhausted, hopeless, or emotionally reactive. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps individuals understand these inner experiences not as signs that something is “wrong” with them, but as protective responses that developed over time in an effort to survive difficult experiences.
From an IFS perspective, traumatic experiences can leave certain emotional wounds “stuck” within the nervous system. Other parts then often emerge to protect against vulnerability, emotional pain, shame, rejection, or fear. These protective strategies may appear as anxiety, emotional numbing, people pleasing, self-criticism, perfectionism, anger, avoidance, dissociation, or difficulty trusting others. While these patterns may once have served an important purpose, they can eventually begin to interfere with relationships, emotional wellbeing, and a person’s ability to feel fully present in life.
Internal Family Systems therapy helps individuals develop a more compassionate and curious relationship with these different parts of themselves. Rather than fighting against difficult emotions or trying to “get rid of” symptoms, IFS aims to help people better understand the protective roles their parts have taken on and gradually create space for healing and emotional integration. This approach is often experienced as gentle, non-pathologizing, and deeply affirming for individuals struggling with the effects of trauma, chronic stress, or attachment wounds.
At Sojourn Counselling and Neurofeedback, IFS-informed therapy may be integrated alongside other trauma-focused approaches such as EMDR therapy, trauma and PTSD counselling, and nervous system regulation approaches like neurofeedback. Depending on a client’s goals and needs, therapy may also draw from attachment-based, mindfulness-based, and emotionally focused approaches to support deeper emotional healing and resilience.
How IFS Therapy Works
IFS therapy gently helps you:
- Identify and understand your internal “parts”
- Uncover the roles they play (even when they feel harmful)
- Build trust and connection between parts
- Heal underlying wounds driving emotional patterns
- Access your core Self as a source of clarity and stability
Rather than pushing parts away, we help you listen to them, understand them, and help them shift into healthier roles.
The Three Types of Parts in IFS
Exiles
These parts carry pain from past experiences—often related to trauma, rejection, or emotional injury. They may hold feelings like shame, fear, or loneliness.
Managers
Managers try to keep you functioning and safe in everyday life. They may show up as perfectionism, control, people-pleasing, or self-criticism.
Firefighters
Firefighters react when emotional pain becomes overwhelming. They often try to numb or distract through behaviours like avoidance, impulsivity, or emotional shutdown.
All parts—even the ones that feel disruptive—are trying to protect you in some way.
What Can IFS Therapy Help With?
IFS therapy is effective for a wide range of concerns, including:
- Trauma and PTSD
- Anxiety and chronic stress
- Depression and low mood
- Relationship challenges
- Emotional reactivity or shutdown
- Self-criticism and shame
- Inner conflict or feeling “stuck”
- Attachment wounds
It is especially helpful when you feel like different parts of you are in conflict, or when insight alone hasn’t led to lasting change. IFS informed work pairs naturally with process oriented psychotherapy, which attends to these parts as they show up in the session itself.
IFS Therapy and Trauma Healing
IFS is widely used in trauma therapy because it allows you to approach painful experiences safely and gradually.
Instead of reliving trauma, IFS helps you:
- Build internal safety first
- Work with protective parts at your own pace
- Access wounded parts without overwhelm
- Integrate past experiences in a compassionate way
Many clients find that IFS creates a sense of internal stability and self-trust that supports deeper healing over time.
What to Expect in IFS Therapy
Your experience of IFS therapy at Sojourn Counselling and Neurofeedback will be collaborative, respectful, and paced to your comfort level.
Sessions may include:
- Exploring your inner experience with curiosity
- Noticing thoughts, emotions, and body sensations
- Identifying and naming different parts
- Developing a relationship with those parts
- Accessing your Self as a grounding presence
There is no pressure to “do it right.” The process unfolds naturally as trust develops.
IFS Therapy at Sojourn Counselling and Neurofeedback
Our therapists integrate Internal Family Systems therapy within a broader, trauma-informed and relational approach. This may include:
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
- EMDR therapy
- Mindfulness-based approaches
- Neurofeedback for nervous system regulation
This integrative approach allows us to tailor therapy to your unique needs—supporting both emotional insight and nervous system resilience.
IFS therapy can be accessed in different ways depending on your needs and circumstances. If you’re looking for a more affordable option, our low-cost counselling services with supervised intern counsellors provide meaningful, supported care at a reduced rate.
IFS-informed work can also be highly effective in relationships. When internal “parts” show up in conflict—such as protectiveness, withdrawal, or reactivity—they often shape how couples interact. Our couples counselling services integrate approaches like EFT alongside parts work to help partners better understand both themselves and each other, creating deeper connection and more secure attachment.
Parts often announce themselves through the body first, a knot in the stomach, a clenched jaw, a sudden heaviness. For that reason IFS pairs naturally with somatic therapy, which uses tracking sensation, grounding and careful pacing to help you get to know protective parts and the younger parts they guard.
IFS also combines well with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): both help you step back from harsh inner voices, hold difficult feelings with more compassion, and act on what matters to you.
Is IFS Therapy Right for You?
IFS therapy may be a good fit if:
- You feel stuck in repeating emotional patterns
- You experience strong inner criticism or conflict
- You want a deeper understanding of yourself
- You’ve tried other approaches but still feel blocked
- You’re looking for a compassionate, non-pathologizing approach
You don’t need to have clear “parts” identified to begin—this awareness develops naturally in the process.
Work With an IFS-Informed Therapist in Surrey, BC
At Sojourn Counselling and Neurofeedback, several members of our clinical team integrate Internal Family Systems (IFS)-informed therapy into their work with individuals, couples, children, and families. Our therapists support clients throughout Surrey, Cloverdale, Langley, White Rock, and online across BC, offering trauma-informed care tailored to each person’s unique experiences, emotional patterns, and nervous system needs. Book online or telephone counselling.
IFS-informed therapy is often integrated alongside approaches such as EMDR therapy, attachment-focused counselling, mindfulness-based approaches, emotionally focused therapy, and neurofeedback to support deeper emotional healing, self-understanding, and nervous system regulation.
Alexandra Defazio integrates Internal Family Systems (IFS), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) in her work with individuals navigating anxiety, emotional overwhelm, identity concerns, relationship difficulties, and trauma. She also offers counselling in Spanish and provides support both in-person in Surrey and online across BC.
Tarnia Pickard works with children, youth, adults, and families using trauma-informed approaches that may include IFS-informed therapy, EMDR, CBT, DBT, expressive therapies, and neurofeedback. Her work often focuses on emotional regulation, trauma recovery, attachment, and supporting children and teens experiencing anxiety or behavioural challenges.
Jonathan Wieser, founder of Sojourn Counselling and Neurofeedback, works from an attachment-oriented and trauma-informed lens integrating approaches such as emotionally focused therapy, mindfulness, neurofeedback, and experiential therapies to help clients better understand patterns rooted in trauma, emotional protection, and nervous system dysregulation.
Clients seeking Internal Family Systems therapy in Surrey often appreciate the compassionate and non-pathologizing nature of this approach. Whether you are struggling with trauma, anxiety, self-criticism, relationship difficulties, emotional shutdown, or feeling conflicted within yourself, our team can help you explore these experiences with greater understanding, curiosity, and self-compassion.
For a personal look at how IFS works in practice, read our post Self leadership: working with your internal family system.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Internal Family Systems therapy evidence-based?
IFS is considered an evidence-informed approach with growing research supporting its effectiveness, particularly in trauma treatment and emotional regulation.
Do I have to talk about past trauma in IFS?
Not necessarily. IFS focuses on your present internal experience, and past material is only explored when you feel ready.
How is IFS different from CBT?
While CBT focuses on changing thoughts and behaviours, IFS focuses on understanding and healing the parts of you that generate those thoughts and behaviours.
Can IFS be combined with other therapies?
Yes. IFS integrates well with approaches like EMDR, EFT, and mindfulness-based therapies.
Contact Us
At Sojourn Counselling and Neurofeedback, we’re here to support you in building a more compassionate relationship with yourself—one that leads to clarity, balance, and lasting change.
Contact us today to learn more about our Internal Family Systems Therapy services or to schedule your first session. We offer flexible appointment times and an easy-to-use online booking system to make it convenient for you to get the support you need.
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