Pregnancy and Postpartum Counselling in Surrey, BC
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Becoming a parent changes almost everything at once: your body, your sleep, your relationship, your work, your sense of who you are. Most of that change is invisible from the outside, which is part of why so many people carry it quietly.
If pregnancy or the months after birth have brought anxiety you cannot talk yourself out of, a low mood that will not lift, thoughts that frighten you, or a feeling that you have lost yourself somewhere along the way, counselling can give you a place to say it out loud without managing anyone else’s reaction to it.
We provide pregnancy and postpartum counselling in person in Surrey, at our Cloverdale office, and online across British Columbia. Sessions are available in English and Spanish.
Reviewed by Alexandra Defazio, MEd, Associate Therapist · August 2026
What Perinatal Mental Health Includes
Perinatal mental health covers the whole stretch from trying to conceive through pregnancy and into the first years of parenting. People come to us during this period for many different reasons, including:
- Anxiety during pregnancy, including fear about the birth itself
- Postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety
- Intrusive or frightening thoughts
- Birth experiences that were traumatic, frightening, or not what was planned
- Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and the grief that follows
- Difficulty with infertility or fertility treatment
- Navigating feeding difficulties and the pressure that often comes with them
- Struggling to feel bonded with the baby
- Identity shift: the sense that the person you were has gone somewhere
- Strain in the relationship with a partner or co-parent
- Returning to work, or deciding not to
- Rage, irritability, and a short fuse that does not feel like you
You do not need a diagnosis to come in, and you do not need to be in crisis. Many parents book because something feels off and they want to understand what is happening before it deepens.
What It Can Feel Like
Perinatal distress does not always look like sadness. Many clients describe some version of:
- Lying awake even when the baby is asleep
- Checking on the baby repeatedly, or being unable to let anyone else hold them
- A constant hum of worry about something going wrong
- Crying easily, or not being able to cry at all
- Feeling numb, flat, or oddly far away from your own life
- Resenting your partner in ways that surprise you
- Guilt about not feeling the way you expected to feel
- Not recognizing yourself in the mirror or in your own reactions
None of this means you are failing at this, and none of it means you love your baby less.
The Fourth Trimester and the First Year
The first weeks after birth are often described as the fourth trimester, and they are genuinely their own stage. Hormones are shifting, sleep is fragmented, and your body is recovering while you are learning something entirely new under conditions no one would design on purpose.
The harder truth is that the first year is long. Support tends to arrive in the first six weeks and then thin out, right around the time many parents start to struggle. If you are six months or eighteen months in and only now realizing how heavy it has been, you are not late.
Baby Blues, Postpartum Depression, or Postpartum Anxiety?
These get used interchangeably, and the differences matter.
Baby blues affect a large majority of birthing parents. They usually begin within the first few days after birth, involve tearfulness and mood swings, and tend to settle on their own within about two weeks.
Postpartum depression lasts longer and goes deeper: persistent low mood, loss of interest, hopelessness, difficulty functioning, sometimes thoughts of not wanting to be here. It can begin during pregnancy or any time in the first year.
Postpartum anxiety is common and often missed, because an anxious parent can look like a very attentive one. It shows up as racing thoughts, physical tension, compulsive checking, and worry that does not respond to reassurance.
These can overlap, and only a physician or nurse practitioner can diagnose them. What counselling offers is a place to work with what you are actually experiencing, alongside whatever medical care you choose.
When Counselling Can Help
Counselling may be worth considering if:
- What you are feeling has lasted more than about two weeks
- It is especially difficult to sleep, eat or care for yourself
- You are avoiding people, or hiding how you feel from the people closest to you
- Your relationship is under strain that neither of you knows how to talk about
- You had a difficult birth and find yourself replaying it
- You are having thoughts that frighten you and are difficult to regulate
- You feel like you should be grateful, and that makes it harder to admit you are struggling
Intrusive Thoughts, and When to Seek Urgent Care
Many new parents experience unwanted, intrusive thoughts about harm coming to their baby. These thoughts are distressing precisely because they run against everything the parent wants. They are far more common than most people realize, and having them does not mean you are dangerous or that you will act on them. They are a recognized feature of postpartum anxiety, and they respond well to support.
There is an important distinction. Intrusive thoughts feel horrifying and unwanted. If instead you are having thoughts of ending your life, or thoughts about harming yourself or your baby that feel compelling rather than frightening, or if you are seeing or hearing things others do not, that needs same day medical attention rather than a counselling appointment.
If you are at immediate risk, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department. In British Columbia you can also call the Mental Health Support Line at 310-6789, no area code needed, or the Suicide Crisis Helpline at 988. Your midwife, family doctor, or public health nurse are also good first calls. Sojourn is not an emergency service.
How Counselling Helps
Counselling during pregnancy and after birth is not about being coached into positivity. It is a place to put down the performance for fifty minutes.
Depending on what you bring, sessions may involve making sense of a birth that did not go as planned, learning to work with an overactivated nervous system rather than fighting it, untangling the guilt that sits underneath most of this, grieving the version of your life that existed before, or finding language for what you need from your partner. Many parents find that simply having one hour a week that belongs to them changes something on its own.
Birth Trauma and Pregnancy Loss
A birth can be medically “successful” and still be experienced as traumatic. If you find yourself returning to it, avoiding reminders of it, or feeling a surge of distress when someone asks about it, that is worth attention. Some clients find EMDR helpful for processing a birth experience or a loss, and some prefer to work more slowly and relationally. Both are your choice, and you are not obligated to revisit anything before you are ready.
Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and infant loss carry a grief that is often minimized by people who mean well. There is frequently no funeral, no time off, and no shared language. We take that grief seriously. You can read more on our grief and loss counselling page, and about EMDR therapy if that is something you want to understand better.
Common Worries About Starting
I do not have time. Sessions are fifty minutes, and online appointments mean no commute and no parking. Some parents book during a nap, or in the evening.
I will be judged. You will not be. Ambivalence about parenthood, resentment, rage, and regret are all things counsellors in this area hear regularly and are not shocked by.
They will think I cannot cope with my baby. Seeking support is not grounds for concern about your parenting. Counsellors do have legal duties to report a child at risk of harm, and honest discussion of intrusive thoughts or exhaustion is not that.
I should be able to handle this. This period is genuinely hard, and it is harder without a village. Needing help is a reasonable response to the circumstances, not evidence of weakness.
What to Expect in a Session
The first session is a conversation, not an assessment you can fail. Your counsellor will ask what brought you in, what the last while has been like, and what you are hoping for. You set the pace, and you decide what to talk about and what to leave for another day.
Sessions are fifty minutes. Many clients come weekly at first and space sessions out as things settle. There is no required number, it is about what works best for you.
Approaches We Draw From
We work integratively and adjust to the person in front of us rather than applying a fixed protocol. Approaches our counsellors draw from in perinatal work include:
- Internal Family Systems informed work, useful when part of you loves this and part of you is grieving
- Emotionally focused therapy for attachment, identity, and relationship strain
- Acceptance and commitment therapy for intrusive thoughts and rigid expectations
- Somatic and nervous system informed approaches for the physical side of anxiety
- EMDR for birth trauma and loss, when it is a good fit
- Cognitive behavioural approaches for worry cycles and sleep
- Neurofeedback as an option alongside counselling for self regulation
Support for Partners, Couples, and Families
A baby reorganizes a relationship, to put it lightly. Couples often arrive describing similar concerns: loneliness, no time, lack of intimacy, and an argument about fairness that may keep repeating in different costumes. That is a pattern, not a verdict on the relationship, and patterns can shift.
Partners also have their own experience of this period, including partners who did not give birth. That experience is often unspoken, and it deserves space too. Partners can attend together or separately. See couples counselling and family counselling.
Perinatal Counselling Online Across British Columbia
Online sessions are often the difference between getting support and not getting it during this period. We provide secure video and telephone counselling across British Columbia, which means you can attend during a nap, from home, without arranging childcare or a drive. See online and telephone counselling.
Why Choose Sojourn
Sojourn is a team based clinic in Cloverdale, Surrey. That matters here for a practical reason: you can choose a counsellor whose approach, fee, and availability actually work for you, and change your mind without leaving the clinic. We offer counselling with Registered Clinical Counsellors, associate therapists, and supervised interns at lower cost, plus evening and Saturday appointments. Sessions are available in English and Spanish.
Take the Next Step
You can review therapist profiles, fees, and availability and book online through JaneApp. If you are not sure who to start with, contact us and we can help you find a good fit.
Related Counselling Services
Therapists Who Support Pregnancy and Postpartum Clients
The therapists below are a helpful starting point for perinatal work, and you are welcome to choose anyone whose approach, fee, and availability fit.
Alexandra Defazio
MEd, Associate Therapist
Pregnancy and postpartum adjustment, anxiety and low mood, grief and loss, and the identity shift of new parenthood. Draws on Internal Family Systems, emotionally focused, ACT, and somatic approaches. Available in English and Spanish, in person and online.
Katherine Ouano
MEd, RCC
More than 25 years supporting children, youth, adults, and families. Emotionally focused, CBT, DBT, mindfulness based, and person centred approaches for anxiety, low mood, grief, emotional regulation, and life transitions.
Tarnia Pickard
MEd, RCC
More than two decades supporting children, youth, and families. Trauma informed work including EMDR for a difficult birth or a loss, alongside expressive, family focused, and neurofeedback options.
Sarah Ball
MA, Intern Counsellor (low cost)
Lower cost support for individuals and couples through the early parenting years. Emotionally focused, trauma informed, and somatic approaches. First session free.
Prefer to browse the whole team? View all therapist profiles and availability.
Frequently Asked Questions About Pregnancy and Postpartum Counselling
What is the difference between baby blues and postpartum depression?
Baby blues affect most birthing parents, usually start within a few days of birth, and settle on their own within about two weeks. Postpartum depression lasts longer, goes deeper, and gets in the way of daily functioning. It can begin during pregnancy or at any point in the first year. Postpartum anxiety is also common and often missed, because an anxious parent can look like an especially attentive one. Only a physician or nurse practitioner can diagnose these, but you do not need a diagnosis to start counselling.
Can I start counselling while I am still pregnant?
Yes, and many people do. Pregnancy is often when anxiety about birth, previous loss, or your own upbringing starts surfacing. Working on it before the baby arrives means you are not trying to start something new while also learning to care for a newborn.
I have intrusive thoughts about my baby. Does that mean something is wrong with me?
Unwanted intrusive thoughts about harm coming to your baby are far more common than most parents realize, and they are distressing precisely because they run against everything you want. Having them does not mean you are dangerous or that you will act on them. They are a recognized feature of postpartum anxiety and they respond well to support. If instead you are having thoughts that feel compelling rather than frightening, or thoughts of ending your life, that needs same day medical attention. Call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department, or call 310-6789 or 988.
Is it too late if my baby is already a year old, or older?
No. Support tends to arrive in the first six weeks and then thin out, which is often right before people start to struggle. Many of our clients come in at six months, eighteen months, or several years later, sometimes after a second baby brings the first experience back. It is not too late.
Do you work with pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or infertility?
Yes. This grief is often minimized because there is frequently no funeral, no time off, and no shared language for it. We take it seriously, and we do not put a timeline on it. Some clients find EMDR helpful for processing a loss, and some prefer slower relational work.
What if I am struggling to feel bonded with my baby?
This is one of the most common things parents are afraid to say out loud, and one of the most treatable. Bonding is not always immediate, and difficulty bonding is frequently connected to exhaustion, a difficult birth, anxiety, or depression rather than to how you feel about your child. It is worth bringing in.
Should my partner come with me?
Either works. Some people want individual sessions to sort out their own experience, some want couples sessions because the strain is showing up in the relationship, and some do both. Partners who did not give birth often have their own unspoken experience of this period and are welcome to book on their own.
What does it cost, and is it covered?
Fees vary by counsellor. Sessions with our Registered Clinical Counsellors are generally $160 to $175 per fifty minute session, and our supervised interns offer sessions at $60 with the first session free. Many extended health plans cover counselling with an RCC. See our fees and insurance page for current details, and check your own plan for what it covers.
Can I do this online, and do you offer sessions in Spanish?
Yes to both. We provide secure video and telephone counselling across British Columbia, which for new parents is often the difference between attending and not attending. Alexandra Defazio offers sessions in English and Spanish, in person and online.
From Our Blog
Related reading from our counsellors: Motherhood and mental health: navigating postpartum challenges.
Contact Us
At Sojourn Counselling and Neurofeedback, we offer both in-person sessions in Surrey (Cloverdale) and online counselling across British Columbia. Book online or telephone counselling.
Contact us to learn more about our pregnancy and postpartum counselling services or to schedule an appointment.
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Or, book your appointment directly through our online booking platform. We’re here to help you take the next step toward a healthier, more fulfilling life.
